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Hello my dearest Laura--For the first time in months, I just visited my Yuku site. It's been so long since I've looked at this site that I need a refresher course in how it all works. I still avoid the Uverse page for I like the Yuku format. Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I sign up for this latest version of Yuku? I wasn't too fond of the layout two years ago. Has it changed; and is it more user friendly than it was in the beginning. I recall all the negative responses to the establishment of this new site; and I've tried to avoid clicking on anything that would automatically sign me up for this newer format.I've truly missed you, too, my dearest Laura--more than I can express in words. But since the heart attack, I haven't been improving health-wise. If anything, I continue to go down hill. In December, I developed panic attacks--which occur almost daily and last four/five hours. They are so scary; and I can't get my breath and feel like I'm going to die. Although I've been prescribed a medication to help with the attacks, it needs to be a little stronger. I also have a physiotherapist working with me the past month. She is concentrating her efforts on breathing exercises, as well as some very simple exercises to strengthen my lower back and legs.Since last fall, I've begun to have problems even walking across the floor. If I go from my computer chair to my laundry room door (about 15 steps), I'm bent over to the point my face is almost kissing the floor. I'm in so much agony that there are times I can hardly make it back to my chair. I look like a monkey as I swing from chair-to-chair--or whatever object is available. If I do go to a store, I now have to use a wheel chair. My little walker does help; but if I'm in a store for more than an hour, I'm in severe pain.Claire, the neighbor who has taken me for my appointments, shopping, etc., will be moving to New Brunswick within the next 18 months. In between time, she will be making frequent visits to be with her boyfriend in NB. This is all so unsettling for me. Finding someone who is available to help in these situations isn't going to be easy. Some of the organizations that provide this service want to be informed at least a week in advance. That isn't, of course, always convenient.The only time I venture out these days is to my medical appointments. Even that has become quite a hassle. It now takes me about four hours to dress; and I'm completely exhausted about half way through the process.In addition to the FM, RA, Panic Attacks--I've had a major episode of Psoriatic Arthritis. I've been broken out from my feet to my skull since September. The various ointments have not--as of yet--been of much help. Stress is what triggers this disease; and since my heart attack, I've had more than my fair share of it. When you combine all the illnesses with financial worries, it's a vicious cycle.Although I have an Occupational Therapist working with me to help get some very-much needed medical equipment (i.e. rails for the bathtub; chair-lift for the stairs, etc.), I'm unable to concentrate on all the paper work which has to be filed. In essence, Sweetie, this is not quality life; and I'm so depressed and overwhelmed from it all.I surely do wish you lived closer--especially when I'm having one of the panic attacks. I find the best therapy is to be able to talk with someone--anyone--about anything and everything for about 30/40 minutes. That seems to help relax me for a while; and the attack finally subsides.I tried writing to you from the Funktown site, but it will not allow me access. So I'm hoping this note will somehow get to your in-box. I'm also going to try sending it through Incredimail--which hopefully is working. Everytime they do an upgrade, they just seem to create more problems.I love you and miss you so very much. I will try to give you a call within the next two weekends. In the meantime, take gentle care of yourself. Sending you lots of warm, gentle hugs and lots of prayers.Luv ya bunches!Sweet Caroline
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